When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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