My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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