make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
