I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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