a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
my liver is dry heaving
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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