All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
