i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
