After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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