Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
