Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
