Your dad touched me again.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
