First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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