why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
