he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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