Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can you repeat that, but with context?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
