I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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