im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
