That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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