Small penises have feelings too.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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