Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
