If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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