Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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