But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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