What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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