great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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