I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
