i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
