The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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