Got a toothbrush?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
