Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
