last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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