Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I need water and some morals
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
