i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
there is puke in my bra ... again
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