My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
