problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
