I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
