I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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