nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
