Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
