No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
