About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
