why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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