if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
