The maid of honor just puked.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My vagina is very pro this idea
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
