im gay
i know
yea but for you.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
