Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
