Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
