Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
