hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I could fuck to npr.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
