We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
